‘Tis the season for giving…for our annual provision of any number of “baskets” for the less fortunate…for our reserving for ourselves the “more blessed” position of giver, as Robert Lupton asserts in Compassion, Justice and the Christian Life: Rethinking Ministry to the Poor
(and from which the quotes below are taken).
There are definite power dynamics in the way we tend to “do charity.” Even the phrase used in the previous paragraph — “the less fortunate” — implies a relationship between those that have to give and those in need…the “haves” and the “have-nots,” if you will.
There is blessedness in this kind of giving, to be sure. But there is also power in it — which can be dangerous. Giving allows me to retain control. Retaining the helping position protects me from the humiliation of appearing to need help. And, even more sobering, I condemn those whom I would help to the permanent, prideless role of recipient.
When my motivation is to change people, I inadvertently communicate: Something is wrong with you, but (quite subtly) I am okay. If our relationship is defined as healer/patient, then I must remain well and they must remain sick in order for our interaction to continue. Since one does not go to the doctor when he is well, curing, then, cannot long serve as the basis for any relationship that is life-enhancing for both participants. …
These relations of power are exacerbated through the ways we tend to meet peoples’ needs — by having them stand in line for all to see to receive a Thanksgiving basket; by establishing limits on the number of items to be obtained from a community clothes closet; by investigating the “worthiness” of requests for assistance.
Anyone who has been given the unfortunate task of dispensing free (or nearly free) commodities will soon have familiar war stories to tell. Something seems to go wrong when one with valued resources attempts to distribute them to others in need. The transactions, no matter how compassionate, seem to go sour in the gut of both giver and recipient. A subtle, unintentional message slips through: “You have nothing of worth that I desire in return.” The giver remains protected by his one-up status while the recipient is exposed and vulnerable. Little wonder that negative attitudes surface. It becomes hard to be a cheerful giver — and even harder to be a cheerful recipient.
Ancient Hebrew wisdom describes four levels of charity. The highest level is to provide a job for one in need without his knowledge that you provided it. The next, lower level is to provide work that the needy one knows you provided. The third level is to give an anonymous gift to meet an immediate need. The lowest level of charity, to be avoided if at all possible, is to give a poor person a gift with his full knowledge that you are the donor….
Betterment to Development
…the first year I sat in living rooms with needy neighbors when the gift-bearing families arrived, I observed something I had never seen before. The children, of course, were all excited at the sight of all the colorfully wrapped presents. The mothers were gracious to their benefactors but seemed, to me at least, to be a bit reserved. If there was a father in the home, he simply vanished. At first sight of the gift-bearers, he disappeared out the back door. It dawned on me that something other than joyful Christmas sharing was happening here. Although the children were ecstatic, the recipient parents were struggling with a severe loss of pride….their impotence as providers was exposed before their children. The mothers would endure this indignity for the sake of their children, but it was often more than the fathers could take. Their failure as providers was laid bare. It was destroying what shreds of pride they were managing to hold on to.
It was obvious that this charity system had to change….
Is it any wonder that community is so hard to foster within such a system of charity? Within a system that does not recognize what both parties have to offer the other, both having God-given gifts to share for the betterment of all with whom they come in contact?
It is disquieting to realize how little value I attribute to “the least of these,” the ones deemed by our Lord to be “great in the Kingdom” (Matt. 5:19, NIV). I have viewed them as weak ones waiting to be rescued, not bearers of divine treasures. The dominance of my giving overshadows and stifles the rich endowments that the Creator has invested in those I have considered destitute. I selectively ignore that the moneyed, empowered, learned ones will enter this Kingdom with enormous difficulty.